How You Really Feel About Money Determines Whether You Will Have It Or Not

Many of us, especially in the black community, grew up hearing the following phrases about money:

Money doesn’t grow on trees” “Money is the root of evil

Our thinking, understanding and feelings about money are shaped by scarcity, and you are also seen as a person of a wanton character if you declare that you like and want money and want financial security, especially as a female.

Our cultures also make it seem like money and having wealth is a male thing and that females should not seek financial wealth and security, and even today, women get called all kinds of negatives names if they declare that they want to make money.

Clearly, many of us need to change how we think and feel about money. Financial expert, Suze Orman says that fear, shame and anger are the most common emotions people have on money.

Suze Orman goes on to say “People do not have a clue at all, they think the reason they are an emotional wreck is because they have no money. They honestly think that if they had money they would have fewer problems.  The problem is that it’s not true. The reason they don’t have money is because of how they feel about their life and who they are. Who you are determines what you have and get to keep. You define your money.  You define the things around you. But money and the things around you can never truthfully define who you are.

Emotions Shape Our World

How do you feel when you find that your bank account is running low? Panic, fear, regret, shame?

How do you feel when you have a lot of money? Important, powerful arrogant?

Our lives are based on and shaped by our emotions including money.  A change in your financial situation starts with your mindset, yes, and also your emotions around money. Examining your emotional relationship with money can help you understand your feelings and behaviours. We all have an emotional relationship with money

We are energetic beings and everything in the universe is energy, this is the first law of existence. Money is an energy of exchange and emotions are energy in motion. When people exchange money for goods or services, they are having a business or financial relationship tied by both their knowledge about money and their emotions. Money is a symbol of relationships, and the way you deal with money is the same way you deal with your relationships. 

The truth is that the problem isn’t money. The problem is how we approach money, how we think about it and how we handle money, how we experience money and how we feel about money. According to research, approximately 90% of what we do with our money is based on emotions and only 10% on the knowledge of how money works. Our Emotions give meaning to our experiences, and our experiences create our reality.

When it comes to energy, like attracts like.  So if you have negative emotions when it comes to money, then you will most likely either repel money or never really feel financially secure no matter how much money you make, and feeling any form on insecurity gives rise to negative feelings and experiences.

How Do You See Yourself?

Some say how much you earn is directly linked to your self-worth, self-confidence and your ability to manage your emotions and this enhances emotions that attract success such as motivation, happiness, gratitude etc. 

A simple thing such as your saving habits can be pushed by how you feel, for example does it give you joy to save or not, if it is something you like doing or not.  We were taught that  we need to be saving, however many times we know we should do something which, will be good for us but don’t do it, this is based on how we feel about that thing. If we have negative feelings about that thing then we will most likely go against advice given do the complete opposite. For instance if saving makes you feel guilting, angry or scared you will run out of money, chances are you won’t do it even though you know you should.

According to research, people who believe that money is something within their control, are more likely to be successful at making and growing money and becoming financially secure. Instead of complaining about the lack thereof, they educate themselves about money. 

Financial intelligence is the basis for growing wealth. There are multiple studies worldwide that have proven a direct correlation between increased financial literacy and increased financial success. Changing our financial behaviour to benefit us is something we should all strive to do; this means finding out what our emotional and mindset blockage is in relation to money and finding solutions to change or remove the blockages. 

Our financial behaviour is also based on our past experiences and growing up, how our parents spoke, felt and spent money in our presence.  Growing up did anybody teach us about money, the importance of it? How to use it? Did anybody teach us about budgeting/saving from a young age? All these factors contribute to how we deal with money as adults. Our experiences with money, having to borrow from people, loan sharks or the bank, debt etc.

According to research how you feel about something or someone will determine whether that relationship will be positive or negative. Our emotions connect us to the people and world around us. How you feel about money will determine how you deal with it, what you do with it and how much of it comes in. Your mindset and your emotions need to work together to ensure you have a successful and positive financial journey. Speak positivity into your finances.

Which Money Script Do You Run On?

“Money script” is the concept coined by psychologists Bradley Klontz and Ted Klontz that describes our beliefs in relation to money.  These script are usually unconscious and programmed into us from childhood and are often not completely true.  Klontz determined four dominant money scripts, Money Avoidance; Money Worship; Money Status and Money Vigilance:

  • Money Avoidance – believing money is bad, and that those that have money are bad people or unethical people. Money is a source of anxiety, fear and disgust if you fall into this category.

Undoing This Script – See money as a tool and an energy of exchange, and see it as morally neutral.

  • Money Worship – believing money solves all problems and results in happiness and fulfillment. People falling under this category can become workaholics and also compulsive spenders because they believe wealth and its display is happiness

Undoing This Script – “money can’t buy happiness” was coined for money worshippers.  Remind yourself that money has neutral value and gives fleeting experiences of joy and that happiness is something we experience even when we have nothing. 

  • Money Status – believing networth is equal to self-worth, money is for showing off even if it means going into debt just to keep up appearances. This category is all about impressing others.

Undoing This Script – Remember nobody is paying attention to you as much as you think they are, do things that make your heart sing, make you deeply happy.

  • Money Vigilance – believing that money must be saved and be frugal. They have finances in order. Think Scrooge in the movie. They fear spending money unnecessarily and losing money.

Undoing This Script – Usually this script is not hurting their finances but their relationships

Sometimes scripts overlap. Be honest with reflecting on yourself and how you can change the script so you achieve and maintain financial security as well as deep-rooted happiness.  

Money and financial abundance is something we can all have and have the right to have, we need to make sure we hold the right emotions and mindset about it.

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